Tag Archives: fail

Suspension bridge of disbelief

suspensionbridge

I need to nerdrage about this Dawn of the Planet of the Apes poster for just a second here.  Just because I see so many of them all over town.  Notice the Golden Gate Bridge is demolished in the center, and the two sides hang helplessly in mid-air.  Defying gravity and physics.

But does anybody know how a SUSPENSION bridge works?  SUSPENSION is the key word.  The bridge SUSPENDS from the giant cable which SUSPENDS between the two main trusses, much like a power cable SUSPENDS between two power poles.

What happens if you cut that power cable in the middle?  Would the power cable just hang there in mid-air?  NO!  Each side would flop to its respective pole, dangling vertically, ends hovering right around ground level.

The same happens with suspension bridges.  If those two main cables hanging between the two trusses snap, they and everything below them are falling into the water as quickly as gravity can take them.  And probably also the trusses themselves.

Maybe you can call suspension of disbelief (so to speak) and say well the plot is good, the effects are (otherwise) good, blah blah blah.  But I call this out because I want to call out this new nerd-movie-excitement movement that I can’t get into.  Here is a prime example of why.

You can say it’s cool new plots, cool new stories, but if they can’t even get Gravity 101 going in their effects, it just convinces me that it’s the same coke-addled retards squatting out another one for the masses.

Seriously guys.  Hire a physicist if you’re this dumb.  Then listen to them.

End nerdrage.